Feeding Foxes?

When my husband and I moved homes, we found a darling cat purring at our backyard. The prior owner must have been setting out milk. Although we are both dog people, I said, “Ahh, he’s so adorable. I bet he’s thirsty? Let’s put out a bowl of milk!” Surprisingly, Ryan said, “No, don’t ever give him any milk.”

Why? I felt so bad, like I would be solely responsible for starving this cat, if I denied him. It was a plump cat, so I found the strength to somehow walk past the sunroom door and ignore the purring. The next two, three, four nights, the cat pawed, softly. It was really hard for me. The fifth night was a little easier and after some time, it was not hard at all. Soon, I never saw the cat,  again.

The same thing can happen in marriage. We can have an adorable little guest suddenly pawing, purring at our relational back door. We don’t want to hurt their feelings, and they are quite adorable. Maybe just a little bit of friendship milk?

Solomon, King of Israel, could have had any woman in Israel [and pretty much did], but he came to a place where he chose one bride, the Shulamite. Scripture shows us what Solomon sought her attention exclusively. As a man who had his undue share of women, he made a strange request of his wife, He said, “[Babe, I want you to] catch the little foxes that ruin our vineyard.” He was saying, don’t let any other foxy man steal your attention or it will ruin our relationship. Earlier in the Song of Solomon, the ”vineyard” is shown to be a picture of a body and the marriage relationship. He’s warning her that she’ll need to catch threats to their relationship before the cute little fox becomes a lion overtaking her heart and their romance.

It seems to me Ryan had a harsh but wise order. The best way to free a cat to go somewhere else is to starve it away. Similarly, if we want to keep the little foxes of dangerous relationships out of our marriage vineyard, the we should not set out little bowls of milk.

Men are commanded by Solomon to “drink water from their own [marriage] well (Proverbs 5:15).  Opening our screen doors to outsiders suggests to men, “I might have something to drink.” So, girls, let’s give our own man something to drink tonight, right?

Ladies, what kind of cat is purring at your back door? My back door is music or chatting. I can’t open those little screen doors. To me that is sin, my boundary. We’re all a little different… What’s yours?

 

Holding out for his Hero

It was September 11, 2010 when Melinda realized a twin engine plane had flown straight into the heart of her family. She was pumping gas when her daughter called notably upset, asking her to come home. Melinda’s son needed some files from his dad’s computer and while searching for the documents, the son found disturbing websites and images. Distraught, he confided in his sister, and they decided they had to tell their mom.  

Melinda pulled into her driveway, head on to a choice no woman ever wants to face—dismantle her family in rage or find a way to stay. She chose to start packing her bags and heard a clear voice in heart, “He needs an ally.” She packed even more aggressively, slamming clothes into a suitcase and that voice from her mind. “I don’t deserve this… disrespect.” She shifted more clothes from the dryer and mumbled, “Lord, I am going to destroy him but that will destroy our family. I want to hurt him back, but help me, Jesus.”

She began to recall a few horrible choices of her own—past relationships riddled with lust and more than a few late night movies that she chose not to turn off. It had been so long since those haunted her. She had forgotten until right now when she heard again, “He needs an ally, my Child.” Melinda knew God was reminding her of the grace He extended to her and wanted her to now extend to her husband. She prayed, “I don’t want to forgive him. I want to punish him. Help me.”

That’s how David felt long ago. Scorned. Before David became king of Israel, he asked a rich man in Carmel for provisions because David had protected his land. The man refused David and mocked, “Who is David?” (1 Samuel 25:10)  David was deeply offended, enough so that he decided to murder the rich man’s entire household in vengeance. So, the wife of the household, Abigail, heard that her husband’s foolish words caused the same man who killed the giant Goliath to come after her family.

Scripture depicts Abigail as no wilting flower. She did not bend under another man’s sin. No, she “knew and considered what she might do” (1 Sam 25:17).  She went to David and told him something to the effect of… “David, you are not worthless; I know who you really are. You were the courageous shepherd who slung the stone at Goliath, and you are the anointed, future king of Israel” (1 Sam 25:29-30, paraphrase).

Abigail left a profound model for how to respond in the midst of trauma. She wielded truth at just the right time and then she extended grace. She didn’t ignore the sin or flower it. She covered it. Abigail said, “On me alone, my lord, be the blame…” (1 Sam 25:28).  Certainly, Abigail was not at fault, but she chose to seek forgiveness for the sin of her husband in order to save her home. Turns out, Abigail’s request changed David’s mind, saving David from murdering her entire household.

If you face trauma because of someone else’s sin, you have the choice to shame the sinner or cover the sin. Men are passionate creatures, valiant and vulnerable. When brothers, sons, fathers, boyfriends, or husbands stumble over their own passions, human punishment can actually hinder them. God is just and surely brings consequences. There are reasons for accountability and consequence, but human condemnation is like the kryptonite that weakened Superman. Shame separates and often leads to further hiding. Truth and grace lead to recovery and real change.

Melinda wiped her tears with a sweatshirt. “God, I do not feel it, but I forgive him. Help us recover and find power over this.” She began putting clothes back into her closet. When her husband got home, she cried and said, “I know you have been looking at pornography. I am so hurt, and it’s going to take time for us to recover, but I’ve stumbled in different ways, too. I may not feel it yet, but I have forgiven you. I am asking God to battle for you and for us through this. I am not going to leave you, because My Father never left me in my darkness. I am not okay with this. We have to do something about it, but I am with you.”

This was the safety net he needed. He broke into tears, already ashamed. He admitted that this had been a hidden struggle since adolescence and that he needed help.

Jesus’ power is made alive in us when we speak truth and extend undeserved merit, grace, to others. It is precisely why Jesus died for us, while we were still sinners. (Ro 5:8)  Even strong men stumble. We just have to choose whether we are going to revolt against the man or the sin vying for him. When men in your life trip, remember “Christ in [him is his] hope of glory” (Col 1:27, emphasis added). We can take their sin personally, fuel our own twin engine Cessna, and hit men when they are already down. Or we can remember the depth of darkness that God covered in our own lives, bust out our inner Lois Lane, and ally with him.

By Rani Yangad and Adrianne Schwanke, Shabby Chic Ministries

•  Think of one man in your life. Listen to the song “Warrior is a Child” and consider his heart.
• Ask the Hero of heaven, Jesus, to strengthen him. Pray through: Acts 4:12  and Revelation 1, 6, and 19.
• There’s no accountability like the Holy Spirit within, but there are beneficial internet blockers as a boundary: http://covenanteyes.com
• Check out more Lois Lane action in Wielding Femininity to the Glory of God, or download the digital companion from iTunes, Nook, or Kindle.

 

Twirl and Bow Down: Taking Cues from Abigail

My sweet three-year-old daughter gladly accepted her role as flower girl in a wedding recently. On the day of the wedding she put on her little ivory dress and twirled with glee. She could not stop twirling and spreading her gown like the feathers of a peacock.

After scattering flowers from her basket down the aisle, she became quite aware of all the “oohs and ahhs” she was receiving. She was beginning to believe how exceptionally beautiful she looked. My daughter’s “internal cuteness” quotient began to sky-rocket.  At first, she would curtsey and thank everyone for the compliments. After a while though, she simply nodded her head in agreement as if to say “I know, yeah, I know that already.” As her mom, I began to feel palpably embarrassed. Humility whirled right out of that ivory dress.  

So often, as women, we twirl in the applause of others and bow down like a puffed up peacock. We place our significance in the swing of our hips or in our latest fashion statements. Certainly God made women stunning. That’s why Adam exclaimed, “Woah, man!” before he named us  “wo-man,” right? God delights in His creation of men and women, but surely our Father also becomes disappointed when our own “internal cuteness” barometer sky-rockets.

We may or may not be endowed with external beauty from the world’s perspective, but we all harbor the potential to become prideful in something—kids, career, cars, cooking, decorating, etc. We can find infinite reasons to become puffed up in our own hearts, but we can also determine to re-position our hearts toward humility.

Scripture reminds us of a woman named Abigail who remained humble, while simultaneously being known for her “beauty and intelligence” (1 Samuel 25:3). It is rare for a woman to harbor both beauty and humility, but what a rare sight to behold the combination of both. This is one of the reasons why Abigail is worth a view.  Her story unfolds between the biblical timeline of David anointed as king and actually being crowned as king of all Israel. During this time period, David and his men were protecting an extravagant estate of a man named Nabal, Abigail’s husband.

Because Nabal was so wealthy, Abigail surely had luxuries, land, and jewels galore—every natural reason to be vain, except for the fact that her husband, Nabal, proved to be a renowned fool. The Bible recounts that he was a “mean and surly man” (1 Sam 25:3). Even his name literally means “fool.”

Well, this “fool” picked a fight with the anointed king of Israel, David. David requested that Nabal offer provisions in exchange for protecting his estate, but Nabal ungratefully mocked David and refused him. So David steamed up a plan to show Nabal just who he was messing with by killing his entire household.  

One of Nabal’s servants who discovered David’s plan pleaded with Abigail, “Now therefore, know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household; and he is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him” (1 Samuel 25:17).

Knowing her husband was hardly a man of reason, Abigail considered what she could do in order to rescue her family. She remembered who David was to become, so Abigail hurried to meet him in the night, dismounted from her donkey, and fell on her face before David. Abigail bowed herself to the ground, fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant” (1 Sam 25:23).

Abigail did not paint up her peacock eyes and twirl about with stunning stilettos. She did not use her difficult marriage as an excuse to not help her husband. She did not flee responsibility. She did not even hope David would end her husband while she had the opportunity to flee. She did not quit. She did not allow emotions to take over.

She considered. She discerned, and she made a move. Abigail’s move was to bow down. She humbly stooped before the God’s anointed king, trusting him to rescue. Abigail opted to apologize on behalf of her family. She gracefully reminded David of his rightful position as future ruler of Israel and encouraged him not to tarnish his own reputation for a fool. She said, “And when the LORD does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel, this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself” (1 Samuel 25:30).

David decided to relent not because Abigail was gorgeous, but because he agreed with her discerning insight into his kingdom position. He praised her for saving him from vengeful murder. So, I’d say Abigail deserves to take a bow for that intervention! She discerned how to rescue her household and a future king from sin. That is wielding femininity to the glory of God.

Bravo, Abigail!

Encore, ladies…

Let’s take a cue from Abigail. Women today have the same potential to provoke men, children, even leaders toward godly choices in decisive moments of need. Because humility disarms anger, we would be wise to bow low before God and listen for how He might use us to redeem an otherwise hopeless situation.

Humility not only disarms anger, it positions God to gift us with wisdom so people really listen to your suggestions. So go ahead and twirl about in your God-given beauty, but bow low in humility so that God can infuse you with discernment for the hard times in your life. He still gives women insight so we can participate in the redemption of marriages, ministries, families, jobs, and femininity.

• Where do you turn if you cannot depend upon your husband? … Turn to the King of Kings, Jesus. He still saves!
• Do you know of anyone holding hostility? Do you want to prevent them from sin?
• Take time now to ask God for a humble heart to help disarm resentment or revenge. Listen for any instruction or ideas from Him as to how you might practically progress this person or situation toward peace.
• Check out the full story of Abigail inside Wielding Femininity to the Glory of God or download now from iTunes, Nook, or Kindle.

By Rani Yangad with Shabby Chic Ministries

 

Breaking In … and Breaking Free

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet 5:8).

When most people think of evil and its presence, they think of The Exorcist, or some horrible, frightening figure. They expect evil to come in some painfully obvious way. However, we should never forget that the enemy often uses craftiness (Gen 3:1) and even perversions of God’s own Word (Gen 3:1-4; Matt 4:6) in order to bring about our downfall.  Remember, Satan is a both liar and a murderer (John 8:44).

If you knew that today a murderer planned to break into your home, to rob you of all your possessions, and to leave no one left alive in the house, then you would do everything you could to protect your family and yourself, correct? You would perform a careful check of your home; you would keep your doors and windows locked; you would make sure that there was no way for your enemy to sneak into your home and to destroy what you love.[1] In short, you would be vigilant: you would be prepared and grant your enemy no method of entry because carelessness would not be an option.[2] Well, we do not battle against an enemy made of flesh and blood (Eph 6:12), so we must trust in the Spirit, put on our armor every day (Eph 6:13-18), and fight the good fight of faith (1 Tim 6:12). We must be prepared to defend our homes, our loved ones, and our own souls from an enemy whose sole purpose is to steal, to kill, and to destroy (John 10:10).

In Genesis 3:1-7, we see Satan approach Eve with very specific plan. He sought to steal the intimacy and joy that men and women had with one another and with God. He sought to kill those who were made in God’s image (knowing that by rebellion, people would die). He sought to destroy the goodness of God’s created order. Satan is a patient, perceptive planner, and under no circumstances should he be underestimated as an adversary. Please do not think that he does not have plans for you. We must have a wartime mentality when it comes to this enemy.

Have you ever read The Screwtape Letters? In this work, author C.S. Lewis presents a series of letters that Screwtape, a chief demon in the Satan’s army, writes to his nephew, Wormwood. Now, Wormwood is a young demon, and Screwtape is always giving him advice on how to bring about the destruction of their “patient,” an unsuspecting Christian.

One day, I asked myself the question: “Okay, let’s be honest. What demons are plaguing me right now? What are very specific ways that the enemy could be plotting my downfall? What Screwtape Letter would I write?” Well, back in 2002 (while I was still in seminary), I wrote this letter:

To my fellow cohort, Despair – I send greetings. You are the apprentice that keeps the patient weary most often. Your job on her, Despair, is undeniably effective. You plague her mind and her spirit with thoughts of things that she will never have. You, more than anything else, shake her faith – she is well aware of this. She looks at a family smiling together, and she knows in her heart that she’ll never have that. She ponders what it must be like to truly have peace, then she accuses God of keeping it from her. She does not believe that she will ever find true happiness. And here, Despair, here is where you have your reward. For then these feelings make her question her God and His goodness towards her. She thinks that He will never allow her to have things that may bring her joy. Or if He does give them to her, He’ll take them away quickly so that she can know the true meaning of loss. After all, He gave His own Son a cross, so she asks: “What will He do to me?” She thinks that about her God. She says she wants to teach, but she’s not really so sure. She believes that she will find absolutely no contentment there. She hates the way her life is now, yet she wears a false smile every day. She’s a Janus! That should really be her name – she’s like that two-faced god of Roman myth. If only those who admire her so could see her two faces. She goes to class, but she really is not concerned with what she is learning. She goes to church and daydreams. The only place where she feels comfortable is in that bed of hers. Good – keep her there. Keep her locked in that prison which she has made for herself. And then she wonders why she is so lonely – why she is so misunderstood. She feels out of place wherever she goes. She constantly feels “in the way.” She feels so in the way, in fact, that in those secret, dark places of that mind of hers, she wants out of this life. Sometimes, she is sickened by her own existence. She stood ready to take it once – to destroy herself and leave this world behind – until our enemy came and you ran for cover. Coward! You must stay on her; fill her with this dread. Convince her that this life is not worth living; convince her that joy will not be had; assure her that her loneliness is all that she will ever know. That is one of her biggest fears you know: she is afraid that the loneliness, the isolation, the nausea will persist for the rest of her life. Wherever she goes, whomever she’s with – she’ll never truly feel comfortable. So what does she do? She plays the hypocrite. She praises a God only to question Him. She talks of His goodness while pondering His injustice to her. She’s a Janus! And she lies even to herself! But this is good. Keep her that way. There has been no progress in this area for years according to my calculation. If you keep this up, she will undoubtedly wither away, or so she often thinks. Work with Pride carefully in this regard. Keep her tired; keep her downtrodden; keep her vulnerable. It will leave her listless, ungrateful, melancholy and bitter.

This was my struggle. Just like Eve, the enemy approached me with a tailor-made plan. He’ll do the same for you. So here’s the question, and think and pray about this carefully. Ask the Lord to search you, to know you, and to strengthen you: How does the enemy approach you? Where are you open and vulnerable to an attack from the enemy? Is it with work, sex, drugs, pills, pain, despair, heaviness, the mirror, lust for men, women, pride, envy, power, money, success, failure, inadequacy, passivity … the list goes on and on.

• Name the most unprotected area of your life.
• Where are you inclined to stumble and sin rather than submit and obey?
• Where are you tempted to give in because you just can’t fight anymore?

Remember that the Lord is a warrior (Ex 15:3), and He fights for those who are His (Ex 14:14). So ask Jesus Christ to take authority in these named areas, to free you from bondage, and to give you a renewed spirit of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Tim 1:7).

By Brittany Burnette with Shabby Chic Ministries

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[1] Taken from Dr. Michael W. Youssef, “Who is Your Enemy,” Knowing Your Real Enemy Series: Part One, Leading the Way Ministries, 20 June 2011.

[2] Ibid.

 

Free from being Good

My childhood goal was to be a “good girl,” taking perfectionism to a whole new level. I belonged to every club, was an honor student, and felt incredibly guilty if I did not have an hour of quiet time with God every evening—praying and reading my Bible.

I knew the Truth that God would not love me less for any sin I committed. This was not hard for me to grasp since I thought I had not committed any sin too hellacious at this point. However, I was dead set on God loving me more. When I died, I fully expected St. Peter to open wide those gates and scream, “You guys will never believe who’s here!” Then of course Jesus would smile warmly, and everyone would applaud at all my varied accomplishments for the Lord. It was all about me!

My friends and I would frequently talk about “spiritual highs” at church or youth camp thinking about how we could keep that fervor going. We viewed our journey as a spiritual scale from 0-100. Before you are saved your sin is so great that you are in the negatives. God saves you and you begin with a clean slate. When you become a Christian you are at 0— all your sins are forgiven.

Then, your goal is to climb up that spiritual ladder. You have great times, then low points of sin, then you climb up again. The goal was to have God pleased with you and impressed with your devotion. As a “good girl,” I knew all this.

Romans 8:1 begins by stating, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…” This I got. I knew that my chart started at 0, and that I was free from the penalty of sin. Romans 8 continues talking about living by sin or by the Spirit of God. I understood this too. There were times I was doing better than others, hence the peaks and valleys. However, I came across a Truth that rocked my belief system at its core. “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:16).

Ok, I’m God’s daughter. I got it. But a professor in seminary unpacked this concept for me. You see, I’m a coheir with Christ. Not only do I partake in the benefits of his suffering and death for forgiveness, but I am viewed as God views Christ in every sense. For example, if my parents died, my brother, sister and I are documented as coheirs. This means that everything they own would go to all three of us equally. No one person lays claim to any one thing. We all own it all. Transfer that concept to this text. We are coheirs with Christ. Everything He has, we have. Everything He is, we now are.

In the book Search for Significance Robert S. McGee raises the question, “If God was sitting between you and Jesus and was asked, “Who do you love more?” What would he say?” Clearly, he would say Jesus, right? Nope. He’d say, I love them the same. Does that blow your mind?!

We are viewed like Christ. It’s not just the concept that God doesn’t love us any less for our sinful disobedience, though this is an amazing concept, but God can’t love us any more than He does. He already loves us perfectly as He loves Christ. You know what this concept does for the super achieving good girl?  I can just be! I can meditate on His command to “be still and know that I am God.” I can revel in His love and rest in His grace. I don’t have to work anymore! Are you working too hard? Are you trying to gain God’s approval, notice, or satisfaction? Stop. If you have a relationship with God through Christ’s sacrifice for you, accept your position as His daughter and coheir with Christ. Walk alongside Christ.

Now, I still struggle with using personal achievement as a means to happiness. My pride rears its ugly head, and I start trying to work again for God’s approval or for nods of approval from my friends and family to validate who I am and cause me to feel good about myself. It’s so hard to simply rest in God’s promises at times, isn’t it? This is especially difficult when the world is constantly screaming an alternative message. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” When I am tempted to accept the smooth talk of the world that I must do something to gain love, I must wield this verse. I must mediate and pray over the truth from God’s Word!  

The world tells you that what matters is what you look like, who you associate with, what your job is, and how much money you have. God says you matter because I created you and I love you. I made you out of the dirt and breathed into you. Have you ever taken a moment to think about this amazing moment? God speaks into existence stars, planets, vegetation of every kind, all the animals, and then He starts playing in the dirt, getting His hands all messy. He bends down and shapes the clay, and then, He gets His face close. He’s so close that He’s just hovering over it and He breathes life into it. Could God have spoken man into existence? Of course, He’s God! But He takes time and care to personally craft and shape man. Why? This creation is special. You see, it’s made in His image. You are that precious to God.

What can separate us from this incredible love of God? Believe me; God wants to make it abundantly clear. Nothing can take the love of God from us. You are loved perfectly, and it can’t get any deeper or greater. You are precious—accepted as a Son and breathed into by God. The Creator died to make you a co-heir with Christ. Let go of the numbering system and latch onto your identity as your Daddy’s girl. He will not let go of His own.

by Angel Angell with Shabby Chic Ministries

 

Yes, … Later

For the first two weeks of her new job, Kim Till, the Chief Advancement Officer for Dallas Seminary, would not sit at her desk. She’d work rigorously at the table next to her desk, while glancing over at her desk chair from time to time. She considered the full weight of raising millions of dollars annually—a heavy burden for any person to carry, not to mention the first woman to ever be entrusted with such a responsibility.

After two weeks of observing her desk from afar,  Kim said that she committed herself “to work every day as though it were up to her, trusting that is was entirely up to the Lord,” and she sat down at her desk.

I’ve witnessed Kim’s high level of faith and corresponding action. She leads several departments with boldness, although she would not have raised a cent had she never sat down and fully accepted God’s next steps for her. She reminds me of the biblical woman Deborah in Judges 4. Deborah was the first female judge to lead Israel. She held her position by listening to God under her very own palm tree and then evaluating Israelite’s disputes.

Deborah was a prophetess who saw God’s plans well in advance and spoke boldly based upon what she heard from God. During a pivotal period in Israel’s history, she summoned Barak, the military leader, and she prophesied, “The Lord has commanded, ‘Go and march…I will draw out your enemy, and I will give him into your hands.” (Judges 4:6-7, paraphrase).  I imagine Deborah was able to speak out with such boldness because she truly heard from God. As Israel was in a cycle of ignoring God, it’s not too surprising that Barak balked at the order.

Francis Chan, one of my favorite teachers, recalls a time when his daughters balked at his direct orders. Francis instructed his daughters to clean their room and then returned a few minutes later to check on their progress. The girls were still sitting on the floor talking and playing. He motioned to them, “Hello, your room?” The girls responded, “Oh, Dad, we memorized what you said. We will.”

I do that.  I recall distinct moments when I sense sadness in my soul while watching a TV episode. It’s like a groaning in my Spirit to come and meet with God. I can see His Word next to my bedside table; I have an iPhone filled with worship music, but instead I bail on His call and keep watching TV. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with a TV episode here and there, but when I opt to stare into the light of the flat screen over the light of His Presence, when I sense Him inviting, then I bail… on God.

I doubt the fullness of His reward and the benefit of His presence, so I negotiate. I’ll meet with you, God, later. I guard my TV downtime rather than invest my weakness into the God that is jealous to strengthen me. I doubt His benefits and rationalize, “I will … after.”

The problem is that good intention that does not lead to obedience is not actually obedience. Grace covers all sin, no doubt. But grace-backed obedience is worth the fight.  A heart that wants to listen to God and do what He desires finds strength, joy, power, and vision. God rewards, but we forget that Christ died to not only cover our sin but also to empower us with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit that lives within us  groans for us to desire and to do what is pleasing to the Father. The flesh loves to cheapen grace and stay comfortable with pseudo happiness in all our little distractions. We negotiate rather than obey from grace.

We are not too far from Barak, who set his own conditions to obedience. He bartered with Deborah’s prophetic call to war by replying: “If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, then I will not go…” (Judges 4:8). Most of us put conditions on our decision to obey, like Barak, because we are not thoroughly convinced that if we step out that our Leader, Jesus, will show up with something greater than what is presently in our hand. We half-way believe so we make very persuasive excuses. My daughters are brilliant at this.

I ask them to come here, and they delay for such great reasons that I recently needed to implement a new parenting strategy. Whenever they are playing and I need their attention, I gently call out (so not to sound like a drill sergeant): “Attention position, ladies.” They know that means to come right then and listen with their eyes. If they do this, I have lots of kisses and praise for each of them. It is so encouraging when they actually come and listen the first time. I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be for the God of the Universe to have His children respond to His Word and His Spirit’s leading with “Oh, we’ll get to that, when it’s convenient.”  

Fortunately, Barak eventually obeyed Deborah’s prophetic word from God, but because he hesitated, he lost what would have been his reward—glory (Judges 4:9).  Eventually, Barak manned up and stepped out onto the battle field. And after Barak stepped out, God showed up, and “the LORD routed the enemy and all his chariots…” (Judges 4:15, emphasis added). What grace God showed!

God tends to show up, when we step past intention and into obedience. There is a difference.  It was only after Kim Till sat down into the chair accepting the responsibility of Chief Advancement Officer that she fully transferred her trust over to the Lord. It is only after I choose to turn off the TV, sit down in my bed, open His Word that God shines vision into my heart for my family and for ministry greater than any sitcom story line could offer.  No leader, mommy, wife, or woman deserves the grace it takes to obey God, but Jesus bought us both forgiveness and His power to even desire to obey the Father. So let’s go after what He has given!

Love, Adrianne Schwanke with Shabby Chic Ministries

 ~  God is jealous for your attention (Duet 6:14-15).  It may not be hard for you to walk away from an episode of the Bachelorette or American Idol, but when is it most difficult for you to give God  your attention? (After work project, after the kids, after … ?)

~  Read James 1:22. Are you hearing, considering, discussing, or doing the Word without excuse and without delay? None of us are perfect, but if our intention is to give Him our best, imagine what might be the reward? Talk to God about this.

~  Write out Philippians 2:13:

 

Super Bowl; Super Me

I love the JumboTron—but not for the reasons you might think. I don’t love it because its massive screen allows us folks in the cheap seats a decent view of the game. No, I love the JumboTron because of the power it has to make people do the silliest things.

 I’ve seen middle-aged men in sensible sweaters leap to their feet and shimmy like Britney Spears. I’ve been showered in pink punch by a small child who had flailed himself into a frenzy, trying to earn a split-second spot on the big screen. And we’ve all seen those college co-eds, painted from head to toe in school colors, mugging for the camera. Why do we do it? What’s the appeal? 

Glory.

Ever since Eve took that bite heard ’round the world, we’ve been craving the spotlight, the chance to be glorified, to be viewed like God, and what better way to shine than on a 131-foot screen in front of thousands?

But God never intended for us to be glorified, on the JumboTron or in life. Our souls were not created to withstand the weight of something that is meant for Him and Him alone. But still we try. We minimize the ways God displays His glory and maximize our own. We absorb the glory and attention due Him, and unwittingly become self-absorbed. It’s like we become the leading actress of our own play—life—which deters rather than invites the weightiness of God’s presence. We claim the spotlight, which may feel good temporarily, but is exhausting long term, and leaves us feeling empty and exposed.

Before we can recognize the radiance of God, we have to first recognize that it is our dark and selfish hearts that relegates the God of the universe to the back drop of life. It is our sinful nature that absorbs His glory as our own curtain call.

Do you ever feel like you are “on camera” in your own life? If you have been absorbing God’s credit, then now is a good time to apologize. God is jealous for His glory, but He is also gracious to forgive and draw us back to Him.

Then there are those sacred moments when we get away for a retreat or attend a powerful worship service when we refocus on the reality that He is the only One deserving of the limelight. Whether it’s in the macro moments of a conference or a sunset getaway or in the micro moments of everyday 9-5 or at home, both can serve to shift our focus to the One deserving of attention, if we let ourselves see like a child.

For example, my son thanked God for letting us go to the zoo. We went once, but he thanked God for almost a year straight. My daughter thanks God for her classmates by name. I frequently hear, “Did God make this leaf… this food… this school… this toy… this dirt?”  I am reminded when I answer my children, “Yes, honey, He did.” He did. Didn’t He?

What if my life became a constant childlike prayer? What if I was consistently thankful for the small, simple pleasures?

 

I got back from a weekend away and was humbled by how wonderful it felt to just hold and rock my 1-year-old to sleep. Thank You, Father. Thank You for this moment. If I re-shifted my constant gaze, how can I even have the space to focus on me, me, me?

Maybe you could fill in the blank: “Hello, my name is _____________. I am a recovering ‘Me, Me, Me’ addict”?

As women, we’re all recovering from some sort of self-absorption. Whether it’s a “My Kids are the Best” mommy complex or an “I’m a Yoga and Whole Foods Goddess” mentality, it can all add up to a JumboTron of … exhaustion.

Women in particular are groomed from a young age that the walk down the high school halls might as well be a runway, and every party has the potential to post us into social media stardom, so we better be ready. But what happens when we are all dressed up, but still feel empty?

When we are the center, we will eventually feel drained because we were not created to sustain the attention of men. We were created to refract glory toward God. Still, like black leather seats in the August sun, our sin nature attracts the applause of an audience, despite how fleeting or unfulfilling.

Truth is, we’re not the leading role in our own story. God is, and He wants us to simply be… His. As we spend time with Him, we end up bearing more and more of His image—brilliant, wise, creative, loving, breath-taking, bold—all those ethereal features we women work so hard to portray. God already is, and we become effortlessly, as we simply abide in Him.

It’s actually energizing to feel the God who designed the petal of a flower and the lines of a leaf, dress us in the morning with joy and a creative modesty, more feminine than we could have ever imagined. And there is a tangible rush when the same God who engineered the radiance of a rainbow and the power of lightning actually leads our home, our ministry, our studies, and our job.  

When God moves in us, the applause we might receive for being great, funny, beautiful, quick-witted or kind, belongs to Him. It is a win-win. He deserves the credit, and we don’t have to manufacture some “Super me” because “Christ in me, [actually is] the hope of glory” (Col 1:27).

by Angel Angell, Michele de Miranda, Adrianne Schwanke with Shabby Chic Ministries

 

• What is one area where you want to begin refracting the light of Christ to others, rather than absorbing it?

 

• Like learning a bit about theology? Check out Wielding Theology Handbook from Brittany Burnette (Shabby Chic Ministries)

 

 

Suffering: What Is the Point?

Michele de Miranda

I’ve never been a fan of Winnie-the-Pooh. Or Tigger. Or Piglet. Tigger was always too spastic. Piglet too nervous. And Pooh, just too pooh. But Eeyore? He was my kind of guy with his tacked-on tail and gloomy outlook, “Why bother? What’s the point? It doesn’t matter anyway.”

As a kid, I had a little stuffed Eeyore. He was made of corduroy and filled with sawdust. (An appropriate stuffing for such a gloomy donkey, don’t you think?) He wasn’t plush like most stuffed animals are, but was solid as a rock and impossible to snuggle with. Still, I loved him. I think there was something about him that I saw in myself.

I eventually moved on to other favorite toys and my Eeyore was lost, but his attitude stayed with me. During difficult seasons, I think I might have been channeling him. People would say, “Pray!” I’d say, “Why bother?” They’d tell me, “Read Scripture!” I’d say in perfect Eeyore pitch,  “What’s the point?”

Fighting off Eeyore’s pessimism has always been a battle for me, but the battle has intensified in recent years as my husband and I struggle to add children to our family. In addition to a seemingly endless international adoption process, we also suffered two miscarriages in 2008, one at 12 weeks and then another one at 10. Both times, my husband and I had seen the babies’ hearts beating on the ultrasound. We had gotten glimpses of what they might look like. We imagined our future with them, and then one day their hearts just stopped. The Lord had called them back to be with Him.

We still don’t have children, and it has been a tough, tough journey. But God has blessed us in unexpected ways as He asks us to walk down a road we never would have chosen on our own. As I’ve experienced God’s presence in our trials, I’ve been able to look at suffering from a different perspective. Rather than mumbling Eeyore’s defeated mantra, “What’s the point?” I’ve been able to ask, “What is the point?” By the grace of God, I have started to see that in suffering, there is a point.

A common experience that we all share is pain and suffering. My pain might be different than your pain, but one thing is certain: we will all experience pain at some point in our lives. We lose loved ones. We encounter health issues. Some of us struggle with marital problems or financial difficulties. Others battle loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, an unresolved hurt, or an unidentifiable ache that sneaks up and then won’t go away. While we are here on this earth, we can be sure that we will all experience pain. But we can also be sure that no matter what we’re going through, God can use it for good.

In 1 Samuel 1, we meet a woman named Hannah. Her heart is breaking. When the story opens, she and her husband Elkanah are making an annual pilgrimage to a place called Shiloh, where they’ll offer sacrifices to the Lord. Hannah and Elkanah are not alone. There is also a not-so-nice second wife named Peninnah. Peninnah has children. Hannah does not, but she longs for a baby. Knowing this, Penninah takes great joy in tormenting Hannah until she bursts into tears.

Hannah eventually reaches her breaking point and cries out in bitterness of soul, “O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life.” (v. 1:10) The Lord hears her. He remembers her and blesses her with Samuel. When Samuel is about three years old, Hannah fulfills her vow to dedicate him to the Lord. She brings him to live with Eli the priest so he can be trained in the work of the Lord. Samuel grows up to become a prophet and anoints the first two kings of Israel, making Hannah the proud mom of a pretty important guy.

That is Hannah’s story. God writes a different story for each one of us, and has an infinite number of reasons why we walk through trials in this life. Some of those reasons we’ll never know, but sometimes He does give us a glimpse of His purpose.

Just before Mother’s Day, I was having a very emotional morning. In addition to the pain of the upcoming celebration, I was also grieving a due date that never happened. Our second pregnancy would have been due the day before Mother’s Day. I remember sitting on my couch with my head back, praying like Hannah, “Father, look at me. Please!” I desperately wanted to hear something, but half expected to not hear anything. And then it popped into my head, “I am tenderizing your heart.”

I love to cook, but I tend to cook a lot of vegetarian dishes and had never tenderized meat. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I thought tenderizing meat involved rubbing it with a luxurious sea salt and then bathing it in a marinade until it became soft and relaxed. Kind of like a spa treatment for steaks.

When I heard God say, “I am tenderizing your heart,” I was confused because in that moment, it didn’t feel like my heart was being bathed in a soothing marinade. I googled “How to Tenderize a Steak”. If God was tenderizing my heart, I figured it would look a lot like how you tenderize a steak. I wanted to know what that looked like.

A 30-second video popped up. All it showed was a cheery woman standing in front of a raw steak, holding a small mallet that could have easily been a medieval torture device. One side was flat; the other side had rows and rows of spikes. She points out to make sure to use the side with lots of spikes, and then starts bashing the innocent steak in front of her. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! That was it! The video stopped with her mid-swing, mallet held high in the air.

I played it again because I was sure it had gotten cut off. I was thinking, “What? That’s it! Where’s the salt rub? What about the bath? That’s tenderizing? Just take a spiky mallet and pound the living daylights out of it? That’s what God is doing to my heart? That’s so mean! Why would He do that?

And then it occurred to me.

Jesus knows about mallets.

Jesus knows about spikes.

“He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5, NIV)

Jesus suffered the most brutal tenderizing of all. He was beaten beyond recognition. Whipped to a bloody pulp. Killed so that we could live. Crucified so that he wouldn’t have to go a day without us, so that we could have eternal life and so much more: joy in the midst of pain, hope in the throes of despair, and even in the most trying circumstances, a peace that passes all understanding. His peace. Out of his mangled, pulverized, tenderized flesh, the Glory of God was released and we were given Life.

On a much smaller scale, something similar happens when He tenderizes our hearts. The pounding, the pulverizing, the pain. It hurts. But there is God-glorifying, Life-giving purpose in that pain. It gives us the opportunity to know Christ in a deeply intimate way. Paul calls it “the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings” (Philippians 3:10, NIV).

Simply put, when we suffer we share a common experience with Jesus, a common bond, a fellowship. He knows all about suffering. Even though our experiences are a small measure of what He went through, God can still use it to change us, sanctify us, make us more holy so that we’re able to live more in the Spirit, rather than out of the flesh.

After watching that meat mallet video, I searched for other ways to tenderize steak. I searched for hours. In hindsight, what I was looking for an easier way. I didn’t like that meat mallet video. I wanted a video that showed the steak surrounded by candles, relaxing in a bath listening to Yanni. That’s the kind of tenderizing I wanted.

I did find several articles that verified you don’t need a mallet to tenderize meat. You can use salt or a lemon juice marinade. But those mallet-less approaches weren’t what I wanted either. There’s a reason why you need salt or lemon juice and it isn’t pretty.

The salt and the acid in the juice break up the flesh. Pounding it with a meat mallet does the same thing. It breaks up the flesh.

God wants to break up those hardened, fleshly places in our hearts. The bad news is breaking up those places means breaking our hearts. The good news is a broken heart gives us the opportunity to exercise hope and build it up like a muscle.

Hope is a beautiful thing, but when everything is going our way, we have no use for it. The best time to exercise hope is when we’re in the middle of a painful situation. You’ve seen those bulked up guys at the gym lifting weights. You know what their faces look like. They’re in pain. But they keep doing those reps because they want the end result: a stronger body.

We can take that same principle and apply it spiritually. Our barbell is Scripture. The Word of God has weight, but just like the weights at the gym, it does us no good if we don’t pick it up and use it again and again.

“Lord, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me.” (1 Samuel 1:11)

“The bows of the warrior are broken, but those who stumble are armed with strength.” (1 Samuel 2:4)

“Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” (Job 13:15)

Whatever Scriptures resonate with you, pick them up and use them, speak them over and over again. You’ll build up faith and strengthen your ability to hope in times of trouble.

It’s easy for me to sit here and write this message, but in all honesty, it’s a battle for me to live it. I fight hopelessness regularly. I have to summon the self-discipline to speak Scripture and to go to Jesus with my pain. I don’t like looking at my pain. Taking it to Jesus means having to look at it, touch it, pick it up and carry it so that I can hand it to Him. My human nature, my flesh, tells me to cover up my pain. Hide my wounds. Don’t let anyone see. I want to be strong, successful, independent, whole…not broken. I want to have my act together. That’s the face I want to present to the world. I also think having my act together is what will point others to Christ.

Jesus and Thomas showed me something different.

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:24-29, NIV)

Thomas didn’t believe. He doubted. So what did Jesus do? He didn’t go to him with a thunderous miracle. He didn’t reveal his power with some big bang. He didn’t try to debate him into belief. Instead, He showed Thomas His brokenness and He let him touch his wounds.

He let him touch his wounds. 

“Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” (John 20:27, NIV)

When Jesus showed Thomas his brokenness, his pierced palms, the gaping hole in his side, He didn’t do it for the blood and gore. He did it for the Glory of God. Thomas was able to see God’s glory through Jesus’ broken body, and when he came face to face with brokenness redeemed, he couldn’t help but cry out in worship, “My Lord and my God!”

In his book, Turn My Mourning Into Dancing, Henri Nouwen writes:

“Our glory is hidden in our pain, if we allow God to bring the gift of Himself in our experience of it. If we turn to God, not rebelling against our hurt, we let God transform it into greater good. We let others join us and discover it with us.”1

God shows up in our brokenness if invite Him in and allow Him to touch our wounds. When we open ourselves up to Him in that way, He brings the “gift of Himself” into our pain and heals it. We can then invite others to touch our wounds, and give them the gift of seeing hope in spite of suffering, joy in spite of pain and God’s redeeming grace at the center of it all.

Henri Nouwen goes on to say:

“If mourning and dancing are part of the same movement of grace, we can be grateful for every moment we have lived. We can claim our unique journey as God’s way to mold our hearts to greater conformity of Christ. The cross, the primary symbol of our faith, invites us to see grace where there is pain; to see resurrection where there is death. The call to be grateful is a call to trust that every moment can be claimed as the way of the cross that leads to new life.”2

“Every moment can be claimed as the way of the cross that leads to new life.” Moments of joy, moments of heartache and everything in between. God wants to choreograph all of these things into a beautiful and sacred dance that transforms us into a greater likeness of Christ so that we can minister to a broken and hurting world.

This world is broken. We live in a broken place. We can’t be here and not experience heartache and brokenness. Is there something that’s breaking you? Is there something that has you saying, “Why bother? What’s the point?”

Will you let Jesus enter into that broken place? Will you allow yourself to experience the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings? If you could pray like Hannah, silently but with all your heart and soul, what would you say to God? How would you cry out?

Take a few minutes now to go before the Lord. If you are in a season of suffering, pour out your pain to Him and let Him touch your wounds. He will heal you. Or pray for someone you know who is hurting and ask the Father to fill up those broken places in the way that only He can.

 

Lord, thank you that when we lift up our burdens to You, You take them. Thank you that our suffering is not wasted with You. You have a purpose. You always have a purpose. Even though You might not always reveal what Your exact purposes are, we can trust that You will not leave us or forsake us. You will turn our mourning into dancing. You will redeem us, raise us above our circumstances and give us Life.

 

Thank you Lord, that when we ask You, “What’s the point?” Your answer is: I AM.

 

I AM enough. I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life.

 

I AM.

 

To You alone be the Glory.

Amen

by Michele de Miranda, Shabby Chic Ministries

 

---

1 Henri Nouwen, Turn My Mourning Into Dancing: Finding Hope in Hard Times (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2001), 12.

2 Ibid., 18.

 

Yielding is Wielding

Tricia Scruggs

I’ve been married to my prince charming, Anthony, for six-and-a-half years now. We met seconds before walking down the aisle as bridesmaid and groomsman in the wedding of two friends. It’s a story that we love, I mean LOVE to tell.

Probably the reason it resonates so much with both of us is that we admittedly had nothing to do with how we hooked up. He was fresh out of a near-engagement, and I was just starting graduate school. Also, after years of passionate attempts to mold my boyfriends into husbands, I had given up. Yielding to God’s pull, my focus was now solely on maintaining a promise of purity and pursuing a new career, not a relationship, but the Lord had other plans.

Here’s what happened: Since I’m a live-in-the-moment kind of gal, I didn’t purchase shoes for the wedding until the afternoon before my flight from Chicago to Dallas. My mom and I spotted the perfect pair of strappy, heeled sandals at a bargain basement price. These were the kind of shoes that Cinderella would appreciate. When I slipped them on, I felt like a princess.

Fast-forward to the evening of the wedding rehearsal. Wearing a pair of flip-flops, I appeared much shorter than another bridesmaid. Despite my attempts to shed light on the fact that the other girl’s heeled-boots obviously added two or three inches to the height difference, I was paired with a shorter guy. The next morning, as we lined up, the coordinator realized, “Oh, you are taller.” So, that’s how it all began, I was scooted toward the door, hooked arms with Anthony, laughed at his joke, and smiled my way down the aisle with him – the first time.

Our story, our fairytale, began without so much as an ounce of effort by either one of us. Perhaps this is why it was such a perfect life experience. We made no attempts to orchestrate the circumstances. God did it all.

As trivial as it may seem, the Lord made good use of my procrastination by saving an affordable and cute pair of shoes for me that day. In His infinite wisdom, He also placed Anthony and me at our wits-end where we’d cast aside our own relationship agendas, and instead honed in on our individual connections with Christ. And, the rest is bliss…

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the matrimonial experience of King Ahab and Jezebel. My writing team and I recently got a chance to learn more about this Old Testament woman and her man. What we saw were glimpses of ourselves. Sometimes, memories of familiar power plays and a lack of yielding to the Holy Spirit hit a little too close to home. Dare we have anything in common with a power wielding, control obsessed queen? Well, we might.

Has there been a time when you wanted a certain job, to join a club, or get your child into a particular school, but it either was inconvenient, pricey or filled to capacity, so you decided to do something about it? Did you think for a minute about ways you could make it happen? Maybe you actually put in a phone call to someone with influence, wrote a letter, took a little cash from savings or some other financial commitment. Did you resolve to make it happen, to do something about it, no matter the cost?

This is the kind of thinking that permeated the leadership of the Israelites under Jezebel’s rule. When her husband gave up on getting what he wanted, Jezebel was just getting started. If she wanted something, she went to great lengths to get it. There are two clear examples of how she used her position of power to control circumstances. One I call “the vineyard incident” and the other “the confrontation after Mount Carmel.”

In 1 Kings 21:1-16, we see the makings of a daytime drama. Jezebel’s husband wanted a vineyard, but the landowner, Naboth, in obedience to God (vs. 3), refused to relinquish his property. Ahab gave up and sulked, but Jezebel chose to use her influence. She decided to do something about it.

First, she took control of her husband commanding “Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite” (1 Kings 21:7). Rather than exhibiting an Ephesians 5 approach to “respect her husband,” she undermined him.

In the next few verses, Jezebel took control of the situation. “So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him.” In the letter, she wrote: “Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. But, seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them testify that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death.”

Flipping back to 1 Kings 18, we see another attempt to wield control playing out after God’s prophet Elijah struck down false prophets who worshiped the same idols as Jezebel. At Mount Carmel, Elijah challenges the people and the false prophets of Baal and Asherah. In verse 25, “Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.” So they took the bull given them and prepared it. Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. “O Baal, answer us!” they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.”

In verse 27, Elijah encouraged them to shout louder and mocked their fake lord saying, “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.”

After hours passed and the people failed to produce their god, Elijah prepared the stage for the one and only true God. He repaired the broken altar and directed the people to fill jars with water and pour them onto the offering and wood. Three times, they filled jars and drenched the site.

Then, in verses 36 and 37, Elijah stepped forward and prayed “O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.”

This is a powerful prayer! Elijah is clearly yielded to the Lord. And, God answered in the very next verse, “Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stone and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.” My God is an awesome God! At this point, there is nothing left for the people to do except yield and proclaim: “The Lord – he is God! The Lord – he is God!” (vs. 39) They didn’t just recite the words, I believe in their heart of hearts they knew it was true.

Elijah then ordered the seizure and execution of prophets of Baal. Ahab heard of all that went on and told his wife what happened. The Bible says she responded by issuing a death threat: “So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” 1 Kings 19:2

Whoa!

Of course, today, the vast majority of women will not use deadly force to get what they want. Often our attempts to fulfill our desires are very subtle and in some cases, could be classified as an acceptable level of persistence or healthy ambition. Yet, sometimes wielding femininity looks like yielding.

Engineers know that a “yield point” is that moment when material permanently changes form. The more we bend to the Holy Spirit, seeking to please the only Wise King, the more we change. The more we yield to God, the more empowered we become, recognizing that He alone has control. If we truly aspire to use our femininity for good and our leadership to advance God’s kingdom, we have to yield to His will, to His way, casting aside our own self-focused pursuits. Then, when we find ourselves faced with life’s challenges, we are able to yield more quickly to God’s will, allowing Him to display His ability.

In my love story, it wasn’t until I stopped trying to control my marital status that God fulfilled my desire for a husband. Letting go of our need to be in charge is not a once-and-done kind of thing. We have to daily give things over to God and rest in the fact that He really is in control. Loosening the reins on our lives can be so freeing!

Let’s yield, pray and proclaim “The Lord – he is God! “The Lord – he is God!” 1 Kings 18:39

by Tricia Scruggs, Shabby Chic Ministries

 

Blind Sides

Academy Award winner Sandra Bullock turned in masterful performance in the 2009 hit movie, The Blind Side. In the film, Bullock portrays Leign Ann Tuohy, a classy, suburban Tennessee mother who adopts an underprivileged teenager, Michael Oher. As it happens, this teenager exhibits enormous potential on the football field. As Michael becomes a part of the Tuohy family, he learns valuable lessons on life, love, and of course, football.

Both his mom and his coach inform Michael that his teammates are counting on him to guard their “blind side.” In football, the “blind side” is one of the most vulnerable positions for an athlete because he cannot see where he may be hit. So, the player relies upon his teammate to watch his back and to protect him. 

Unfortunately, “blind sides” do not just occur in football. They often occur in our spiritual lives as well. We can be going through our day as if everything is fine, and then it happens: we are ambushed by a spiritual attack. We never even see it coming.

Eve had a day like this, and it would be a day that would change the course of human history … forever.  According to Gen. 1-2, God made man and woman and placed them in Eden. Here, they had all they could possibility want: unrestricted access to God, a perfect relationship to one another, and harmony in all creation. They weren’t prepared for a strategic and deadly assault in paradise. 

Satan approached Eve and asked her whether God has denied her the opportunity to eat from any of the trees in the garden. He does not come right out and state that God is deliberately withholding, but he raises the suspicion that God does not want Eve to have something precious – true power and knowledge. Satan does not come in an oppressive or fearful way; in fact, he presents himself as one who is bringing a freeing truth: death will not come to you if you disobey.

When most people think of evil and its presence, they think of The Exorcist, or they envision a horrible, frightening figure. We need to expect that on some occasions, our enemy may appear as the clever charmer.

God made Eve, loved her, gave her an adoring husband, placed her in paradise, and gave her unrestricted access to Him. Even after all that, though, she begins to believe that God cannot be fully trusted. Unlike Satan, the words and commandments of God are always good (Ps 19:7-9). He never prohibits without a reason, even if He does not share that reason with us. Distrusting her God, Eve ate the forbidden fruit. She was “blindsided” by an enemy who stole her attention, killed her faith, and destroyed her intimacy with God.                                                                                 

Now, you may be thinking: “Hang on! Eve was being ridiculous here! I never would have fallen like that! If someone (or something) comes along and tries to tempt me to fall, I’m going to stand firm in the Lord. Even better, I’ll run to the Lord, but I’m not going to betray Him!”

 Are you sure?

Ultimately, Eve did not need extra “wisdom;” she needed to obey. Rather than assuming that God was working against her, she needed to trust that God’s gifts were enough, good, (James 1:17) and that His prohibition was for her own protection.

Just as he did with Eve, Satan comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy us, too (John 10:10). It is easy to assume that we will remain loyal to Christ, but we all have blindsides. Friends and Sisters in Christ who pray for us help, because only God fully sees our areas of potential danger. He is our great Protector. He is our Defender (Ps 32:7; 121:7; 1 John 2:1) when spiritual attacks will come. It’s not a matter of if they will happen, but when.

Sisters, when are you most vulnerable to an attack?

 

Under what circumstances are you tempted to rebel against the Lord?

 

When these moments come, will you be ready?

 

Take time now to ask God to defend your blindside.

 

What’s the shortest distance between loneliness and lust?

Imagine you’re married to a really important man—so very important that he seems too busy for you. (Because someone must be crazy busy in order to feel important, right?) Well, whether he’s actually important or just really “busy,” you still feel a void.

Lonely.

Looking.

And then—in walks some smok’n hot man who is now paid to be your personal housekeeper. He packs a broom, biceps, and a daily question: “Hey, can I help you around the house or maybe make you some lunch today?”

That’s pretty much where Potiphar’s wife found herself—BAM! Smack in-between a busy husband and a sudden distraction. She might as well have starred in the pilot episode of Desperate Housewives. Her story nestles inside the book of Genesis:

“So he [Potiphar] left everything he owned in Joseph’s charge; and … he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance” (Genesis 39:6.)

Potiphar (the husband) is apparently such a special, busy leader that he felt the need to completely delegate his home life to another man. Whether that’s a model worth repeating, we’ll save for the men to discuss, but for us, it is what it is. And Potiphar’s wife was stuck with one wildly confusing view—a godly Hebrew paid to oversee her inner sanctum, home.

I’m sorry, but “Hello?” If you were placed in a similar circumstance, surely a day would come where loneliness and opportunity would combust into t-e-m-p-t-a-t-i-o-n. If you were given the perfect set-up to sin, would you take it?

Not sure?

Me either.

So, let’s both take notes from a man who withstood:
“It came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she [Potiphar’s wife] said, ‘Lie with me.’ But he refused and said to his master’s wife, … ‘How could I do this great evil and sin against God?’” (Genesis 39:7-9b).

When Joseph was presented with a clear invitation to swing Tiger’s club or set up a Jesse James sexting match, Joseph refused. Instead, he had a heart-to-heart conversation with his conscience. He wielded a mighty question: “How could I do this great evil and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9) When sin pulled, Joseph looked up to the God who saved him from the pit of abandomment. He looked up to the God who had given him a vision for his life that far surpassed the passing pleasure of sin.

And after considering God, Joseph FLED: “She [Potiphar’s wife] caught him by his garment saying, ‘Lie with me!’ And Joseph left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside…” (Genesis 39:12).

So, what is the shortest distance between loneliness and lust? One loitering glance.

What then is the shortest distance between temptation and faithfulness? A gaze fixed on God and feet ready to flee. Joseph did it. Jesus did it. (Jesus lifted His gaze above temptation to take His kingdom before God’s timing and instead He endured the palpable pain of the cross. He looked over and above loneliness, rejection,  and feelings of abandonment to the glory set before Him–a coming kingdom and the Father’s plan for reconciling sinners to Himself.) And the result?

Redemption.

Resurrection.

Reclaimed femininity.

And now, because the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in those who believe, we can access this same perspective and power, too (Romans 8:11). We can look over our loneliness, sadness, anger, bitterness and up to the eyes that love, fill, and raise us from the dead areas in our life and marriage.

Ask God to give you a higher view of Christ this Easter. He is the coming King of kings galloping from heaven with a sword in His mouth and a name written on His thigh—Faithful and True. He is the Resurrection and the Life that changes an unfaithful bride into a woman of purity and faithfulness.

We are not a slave to Satan’s solicited view of femininity—Playboy Bunnies hunting for men and putting them one by one into her basket whenever she feels the need for attention.

No, we serve a King who laid down His life to redeem us and our view of self.  So, let’s look into His eyes that purify our feminine wiles. Turn back to your husband and love only him, again and again.

And since it’s Easter, I dare ya to make a basket just for your husband (or make a creative future planning basket if you’re single). Fill it creative notes with ways you plan to love on him well. Place your creative eggs filled with playful ideas around your bedroom, pray for him, and then hand him a basket. I betcha he finds some new time in his busy schedule, somehow. Wink. Wink.

Happy Easter Egg Hunting!

• What view stands out to you through the window of Revelation 19:11-16?

• Do you still have corners of your heart that harbor the Playboy Bunny mentality this Easter?

• How can wielding Genesis 39:6 or Romans 8:11 prevent you from living like Potiphar’s wife Part Deux?

• What area of your life do you need Jesus, the Resurrection and the Life, raise from the dead for you? (John 11:25)

• Can you think of another verse that could turn our gaze to the One who saves in a moment of temptation? Post and share it with us!